About Jeez-Its

At Jeez-Its, we believe Communion is a slap in the face to the Body of Christ and its infinite potential. After obtaining a bounty of transubstantiated communion wafers from an anonymous priest, we decided it was time to see just what these baby Jesuses could do. Join as we prove that Jesus can do anything and everything, even as a cracker.

Jeez-Its are made with bits of real Jesus!

Friday, May 7, 2010

"All Teenagers are Spontaneously Homosexual,"

says a man wearing a dress and a gold lamé hat.

"We know that the adolescent is spontaneously homosexual. Boys play with boys, girls play with girls," Archbishop Dadeus Grings said. "If there is no proper guidance, this sticks. The question is - how are we going to educate our children to use a sexuality that is human and suitable?”

Archbishop Grings, known as Daddy amongst the choir and altar boys of his church, explained to a Brazilian bishops’ conference that today’s society was pedophilic due to rampant homosexuality. Our cultures are sick with child molestation because we allow Teh Gheys to have some (but not all) civil rights. Teh Gheys are everywhere and their existence is harming your child's sexual development.

But, the good bishop is not all doom and gloom. He has a plan to help us! He declares that it is up to the celibate priesthood to nurture and train those spontaneously homosexual boys and girls in the proper ways to express their sexuality. Even if the training has to go all night long and over the weekends. Even if the training takes years and years, the priests will remain dedicated. They will start training the children of their parishes as early as possible, so that the pervasive homosexual culture doesn’t have a chance to taint them.

Fear not, society at large! The Catholic Church is here to teach your children about sex and to keep them from spontaneously becoming homosexual. They love your children (long time).

No comments:

Post a Comment