"All Teenagers are Spontaneously Homosexual,"

says a man wearing a dress and a gold lamé hat.

"We know that the adolescent is spontaneously homosexual. Boys play with boys, girls play with girls," Archbishop Dadeus Grings said. "If there is no proper guidance, this sticks. The question is - how are we going to educate our children to use a sexuality that is human and suitable?”

Archbishop Grings, known as Daddy amongst the choir and altar boys of his church, explained to a Brazilian bishops’ conference that today’s society was pedophilic due to rampant homosexuality. Our cultures are sick with child molestation because we allow Teh Gheys to have some (but not all) civil rights. Teh Gheys are everywhere and their existence is harming your child's sexual development.

But, the good bishop is not all doom and gloom. He has a plan to help us! He declares that it is up to the celibate priesthood to nurture and train those spontaneously homosexual boys and girls in the proper ways to express their sexuality. Even if the training has to go all night long and over the weekends. Even if the training takes years and years, the priests will remain dedicated. They will start training the children of their parishes as early as possible, so that the pervasive homosexual culture doesn’t have a chance to taint them.

Fear not, society at large! The Catholic Church is here to teach your children about sex and to keep them from spontaneously becoming homosexual. They love your children (long time).

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/southamerica/brazil/7686292/Brazilian-archbishop-all-teenagers-are-spontaneously-homosexual.html

Silly Kitty,

Steeples aren't for noms; Jesus is for noms!

Tim Minchin

is a Jeez-Its Super Star.



He's calling it like he sees it. Sure, he's using naughty language to convey his feelings and opinions on the Catholic Church Sexual Abuse Scandal, and the Pope specifically, but what the Church has done is extremely naughty so they shouldn't be offended by a couple of well-earned expletives.

Are We Using the Royal We?

So when the Pope says that “we Christians” need to repent, do you suppose he’s using the Royal “We” to keep the heat off of his own holy hinny?

The Pope said in his homily on Thursday, “I must say, we Christians, even in recent times, have often avoided the word 'repent', which seemed too tough. But now under attack from the world, which has been telling us about our sins ... we realize that it's necessary to repent, in other words, recognize what is wrong in our lives.”

And Ratzy’s right, “repent” is a tough word. It connotes the admission of guilt and responsibility for one’s actions, to be penitent and strive to change one’s ways. Wait . . . what? Apparently that’s not correct. Because the Pope says that repent means to “recognize what is wrong in our lives.”

Furthermore, the Pope isn’t as worried about contrition as he is about opening “ourselves to forgiveness” and “divine mercy.” But just in case forgiveness is slow in coming, he’s written himself (and presumably all of Christianity for which he speaks) an insurance policy. On the Vatican website, he claimed that there was a long-standing church policy to report abuse to civilian authorities to pursue according to the local laws. This is in direct contradiction with an earlier papal letter that was revealed last year that threatened excommunication to any priest that attempted to report child abuse to the police.

Presumably, it was Pope Benedict’s “repentance” that spurred this latest incidence of attempted revision of history. He finally recognized how guilty he was and decided to write himself out of responsibility for his voluminous crimes.

We are not amused.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36554197/ns/world_news-world_faith/

Two Words . . .

Jesus Penis



















Thanks to Dan Savage for this little gem.